Worst healthy holiday food advice


Nothings says Holidays like artificially sweetened hot cocoa with fake whipped topping.

It’s been going on for weeks already: that nagging “helpful” advice on eating healthy for the holidays.  There are two main messages:

  1. You should feel guilty about enjoying all those special once-a-year holiday meals and treats, because they’re made with high calorie ingredients.
  2. You should try to make everything with fake ingredients, which allegedly makes your food healthier, but in fact just makes it tasteless and highly processed.

What’s “safe” to eat?  Dry turkey breast, boiled green beans, water.  As I’ve noted many times before, it’s as if the main stream media is controlled by people with latent eating disorders, who are terrified of real food.

Here’s are my 5 Worst Healthy Holiday Food tips:

  1. Use fake whipped topping.  It’s gross and tasteless, but if you’re into quantity instead of quality, you can dump a whole lot of this stuff on your pumpkin pie and not worry about calories. Trouble is, there’s no flavor or texture.
  2. Make fake gravy.  You end up with salty goo, thickened with corn starch and a lot of other additives, flavored with additives, colored with additives.  Basically thickened salt water with additives.
  3. Serve raw vegetables with fake low fat dip.  Inevitably these fake low fat dips and dressings are loaded with salt and sugar, in an attempt to create some flavor, along with thickeners.
  4. Use low fat ingredients in everything, from pumpkin pie to mashed potatoes to gravy and dips.  Fat adds flavor and texture; it enhances the satiety value of foods.  Low fat versions of those foods lack all of those qualities.  But if you value quantity over quality, you can eat more of the fake low fat foods and not worry about calories.
  5. Make desserts with artificial sweeteners.  FAKE.  Also, the chemical properties of artificial sweeteners are not the same as the properties of sugar, so your favorite desserts will never be the same as Grandma used to make.

Then there’s the Don’t Eat That list.  Cookies, candy, hot chocolate, cocktails, appetizers, rolls, desserts in general, candied sweet potatoes, stuffing, turkey skin, dark meat turkey, butter, real gravy, real whipped cream.

What you really have to ask yourself is this: do you value eating giant portions of fake food over eating small portions of real food?

7 pieces of good advice for holiday eating:

  1. Enjoy real food at the holidays.
  2. Don’t drink too much.  And don’t drinks sugary soft drinks.  At all.
  3. Don’t eat too much.  Take small portions and avoid second helpings.
  4. If you took a serving of something out of sheer politeness, but you don’t care for it, just don’t eat it.  You aren’t obligated to eat anything and everything.
  5. Exercise, everyday if possible.
  6. Don’t leave food sitting out. Put the cookies, candy, pie, leftovers and other tempting foods away out of sight.
  7. Don’t make every holiday activity about food.

It also helps to eat very modestly on non-party days, focusing on vegetables and fresh fruit.  Now go forth and enjoy!

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