Common sense-proof diet

BulletCoffee1Or How to Ruin a Good Cup of Coffee

There are two ways to look at fad diets:

  1. exasperating perversions of science, used to tout ideas (and expensive products) that any sensible person would immediately reject
  2. comic relief

Exhibit A: The Bulletproof Diet, with the signature essential daily beverage: Bulletproof coffee.

The obvious first question: why “bulletproof”?  Does the diet make you invincible?  Will the body armor industry go belly up?  Not likely.  No claims are made for protection from actual bullets.  Maybe use of the word “bulletproof” gives the whole thing an aura of masculinity.  Who else but a really tough guy would drink coffee with butter in it?

The idea of the coffee is modeled on aspects of the traditional Mongolian diet, in particular yak butter tea.  Yaks are related to bison, and live in the harsh, arid and bitterly cold high altitude regions of Central Asia.  The people who live on the Tibetan Plateau are hardy individuals themselves.  It’s a cold climate and they’re very physically active.     Tea is served with the butter made from yak milk, a good way to load up on calories to fuel their demanding daily lives.  Somehow, the demanding lifestyle part of this equation got lost in translation.  The easiest idea to sell to gullible sedentary Westerners, who want a quick fix for obesity and health problems: putting butter in a hot drink — coffee — is the path to fitness and health.

BulletCoffee2But not just any butter!  You must buy grass fed ($$$) butter.   And not just any coffee.  You’re must buy special “high performance low toxin” coffee from the diet website, along with a bottle of special high fat goo (made from coconut fat) that you must add to the coffee along with the butter.  Your coffee is now a 400 calorie cup of fat.  Supposedly it will keep you healthy and energized for hours, without making you hungry.  You’re supposed to eat similarly high fat meals all day, preferably 50-70% fat.  Because ….. fat makes you bulletproof?

Why would anyone think this was

  • healthy
  • energizing
  • a path to weight loss and fitness

Got me.  No clue.

What’s most likely to happen:

The extremely high fat diet starts to taste gross and boring.  How much pure fat can you eat?  It sits in your digestive system like a brick, unless you have fat absorption issues, in which case it doesn’t.  So if you persist in sticking to the diet plan, you actually cut calorie intake because you just can’t stomach much of it.  Can you stick to this monotonous regimen long enough to lose a significant amount of weight?  And then keep that weight off permanently?  Well common sense says that isn’t going to happen.

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