14 diet ‘anti-resolutions’ for 2014

Mmmm, breakfast!

Mmmm, breakfast!

Are you sick of the same old earnest diet resolutions that always melt away by the end of January?  Tired of feeling guilty listening to your family and friends brag about their too-perfect New Year’s resolutions?

If you’d rather not pay attention to healthy eating, weight control and disease prevention, here’s a list of anti-resolutions, guaranteed to do nothing to improve your health or nutrition profile in 2014:

  1. Eat lots of sugar.  In fact, start your day with nothing but sugar.  Candy, sweeten drinks, pastries, sugary cereals, doughnuts and soft drinks.
  2. Load up on processed foods.  Why bother dealing with whole unprocessed foods in their natural state?  That’s just so much bother.
  3. Never touch a vegetable.  Except for the tired lettuce on your daily cheeseburger(s).
  4. Sit as much as possible.
  5. Supersize everything
  6. Drench any salad you do eat with big puddles of high fat dressing.
  7. Always have desserts.  Big desserts
  8. Keep your kitchen pantry well stocked with junk food
  9. Never order a pizza that doesn’t have extra cheese and loads of pepperoni and sausage
  10. Rely on the nutrition spin on food labels guide your purchasing decisions.
  11. Rely on self-appointed nutrition “gurus” for your information, not actual trained experts.
  12. Buy into the latest fad diets.  There are sure to be new ones in 2014
  13. Meat should come in giant portions, so load up your plate with meat
  14. Imagine that vitamin supplements will “fix” your poor diet.

Actually, it seems as if most people have been following these anti-resolutions for years.   So if you stick to this list, you won’t be alone.  You also won’t be doing anything for your health, but that’s the point of anti-resolutions.

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